This weekend

So...
I baby sat my nieces this weekend, well, I team sat, my mom assisted in the afternoons. But it was fun! I'm tired, glad their mom is coming home today but I really enjoyed it. And I really think that spending all that time with them helped me feel better. About myself, about where I am in life and what I want to do with my life. They are really awesome kids! The sermon this week was really good too, the pastor talked about letting God bless you where you are, the situation you are in RIGHT NOW and that was neat, that God, the creator of the universe wants to bless me... me!

I know it's still not all better, there are still lots of times that are challenging, but I know that it's going to be OK. And that makes me happy. I'm starting to feel happy again, and that makes me want to cry. Weird huh! I am such a girl. And I can't wait to have my own babies to come home to. I know that is what I am supposed to be, some people are doctors or lawyers, I'm supposed to be a mommy! :) And you know what? I am going to be darn it!

So I don't wanna cry every second of the day anymore, it's about every other day or every two days. People still want to hug me every time they see me. I am sorta dreading thanksgiving for that reason. Though food should be good! I don't look in the mirror any more and feel like I look horrible. That makes me want to cry too. I guess I haven't really felt myself for a long time, I guess I've just accepted it as how it is and it's starting to change. It's good. God is good, even when everything else kinda sucks.