Life Realizations

So, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, thinking about things that normally I don't ponder. And I have come to this conclusion, I want to be a different person, not that I want a different life, but that I want to be a better version of myself. I have spent so many years caring about what people think of me, and how I can be the person they want me to be. I have decided that I no longer want to be that person, I care yes, I mean a little caring is important so that you aren't disrupting social norms, but to live life like it matters.

I mean, this is it, you only get one chance at life, and once you are dead, you don't get a second chance, so shouldn't we want to make our lives count? To make our mark on life instead of letting life happen to us? The mundane, everyday things really start to add up and make life seem bleak, but be of good cheer, those aren't the things to dwell on, there are tons of awesome things out there that we take for granted.

Take for instance, the Apostles, I was reading in Acts this morning and it was like the stories were coming alive, the disciples really understood what it meant to walk like Jesus. People used to lay in the road that Peter traveled just so they could have his shadow fall on them so they could be healed, that is the SAME Jesus I serve, that Jesus is available to me... to ME! And you! The Holy Spirit in power is alive for us today, we just have to live it and take it. Peter wasn't a special guy, he wasn't a speaker, but it says, the Holy Spirit came upon him and he began to preach and thousands came to believe in Jesus! How cool is that!

I wanna have that, I wanna know Jesus like that! Growing up in the church I definitely has it's perks, but in any religion there is one problem with being born into it, there isn't the real, on your knees, this is what I want to believe moment. It's more like, yep, that sounds good... And golly, I love that I grew up in the church and know the Bible stories, but you know when you watch the same funny movie over and over and over and you can recite every line? And eventually it looses some of the funny? It's kinda like that, when your a kid and you hear that Jonah was swallowed by a big fish you say, WOW! When you hear it now, you say, yup, heard that one... it looses it's power, you become tainted and dull. What was once powerful and an awesome story of God's power has become, just another Bible story.

I guess that's why Jesus says, to become like a child. I mean, it has something to it, when I told my Sunday school kids that Jesus was arrested and killed, they all said, "But why?" "That's not fair!" When as an adult you say, yup, that's just what happened, it has lost it's power. But why? Cause we have let it.

We have faded into our lives little things that maybe don't seem like much but they corrupt our minds and our hearts. "It's just a little nudity" "It's just a little language" "It's just a short sex scene" "I'm not really listening to the music, just the beat". These are all lies that we have told ourselves to make excuses for doing things we shouldn't be doing. I don't want to make excuses anymore, I want to be a different person. The world is a hard place to live, so much profanity being thrown at you from every angle, it is perverse, and as Christians we need to separate ourselves from it. We should not try to be as close to the world as possible, but as far away from them as possible.

People so eagerly put stickers on their car, but does it mean anything? What is the point?? So that non-Christians can hate the "Christian" that just cut them off? Isn't that using the Lord's name in vain? Using Jesus for your own benefit, to look like a good Christian and then shaming His name by your driving?

All this to say, I want to matter, I want my life to matter, when I die I want my kids to say, "Mom really knew Jesus!" That is what I want! I want that little line between when I was born and when I die to be significant.

Don't you?